Adrien Brody is Not a Predator Killer
Predator came out in 1987. It’s a movie about a team of rugged commandos in the jungle who run into a formidable alien creature, and it starred Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, Bill Duke, Sonny Langham, Richard Chaves, and Shane Black. This was an important casting decision, you see. The casting director was looking for a few obvious key characteristics when he chose these guys, since they would be portraying an elite team of commandos that live in a jungle and hunt aliens.
Adrien Brody has established himself as an excellent actor. He won an Oscar and several other industry awards for The Pianist. I haven’t seen it, notably because there were no aliens, knife fights, or futuristic weaponry in the preview. Just a really skinny emo guy that always looks like he is about to break into tears, playing piano with his delicate, perfectly manicured hands.
A good casting director knows there are certain types of actors to look for when creating an action movie. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a “good” actor, but someone that looks like they may be able to win in a fist fight. Someone that maybe has a scar or two. Someone that does not spend a lot of time fixing their shimmering, luxurious hair in the morning, and does not drop $150 on a pair of jeans with little holes in them.
Adrien Brody is not the kind of guy that would pursue or perhaps destroy an alien life form along with an elite team of commandos. Adrien Brody is the kind of guy who would steal your girlfriend by writing poems to her. Also, he cannot lift a minigun.
In this New York Daily News article, Adrien tries to convince a reporter that he spent the night in a real Hawaiian jungle once in order to prepare himself for the role. During the interview, a spider scampered across the desk. Covering it with a glass, Adrien tells the reporter that “there’s no need to kill him”.
Look man, if you can’t kill an arachnid you’re going to have a hard time convincing me that you’re hunting down a giant man-killing alien that shoots nuclear laser weapons out of his wrists.
Don’t get me wrong, Predators will probably be a pretty good movie, and I will go watch it. But for the love of everything holy in Hollywood, can we stop replacing the Charles Bronsons, the Lee Marvins, the Jesse Venturas out there with these 90 pound, turtlenecked chest-waxing Greenwich Village beat poets? Thanks for casting Danny Trejo, but that doesn’t make up for this oversight.
Good points. I’m willing to accept your word as authoritative on this topic, Jay.
Arnold, Chuck, Charles, Carl, Jet, Marlon, Lee, Bruce … these are action star names.
Adrien.
I rest my case.
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Maybe it appeals to the idea that not only can big, burly, hunky men take on an alien deep in the forest but somehow by sheer force of will the 90 pound weakling can as well. At least I guess that appeals to me since I am much more drawn to the poetry writing types than the fist fight types.
OK, no fair on that femme picture. Can’t defend him whilst looking at it!
But, here’s the jist of why he’s right: Rangy IS potentially unpredictable, survivalist. Big dude’s can’t last in the jungle – No buffet. Brody can have the undeveloped subplot of addiction too. (And if junkie commando’s aren’t tough, Yes he’ll steal your girlfriend, and your wallet!) Last point, someone’s gotta be the skinny one to beef up the rest of the commandoes. They’ll probably imply he’s got a special role, smart/science or something dark and sinister.
And, he’s hot.
Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll get killed early in the show?
His character goes to run through the forest, and he stops, carefully lifts his foot before he stepped on a caterpillar. The predators stop, look at him carefully for a few tense seconds, and then unload a small atom bombs worth of ammo into his smoking charred body.
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I miss Sylvester Stallone.
In his defense, at least according to wikipedia, he’s broken his nose four times AND was in a motorcycle accident. That’s got to give him at least ONE ruggedness point.
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Thanks for the comments. I notice a pattern here- the guys agree with me, and the gals defend Adrien Brody.
In the end, the movie was pretty good. Though the Danny Trejo shoutout made it even better.
I can tell you have no knowledge of what actual military operators look like. Hollywood this time actually got it right. Ive got a friend thats a green beret and you wouldnt even think he was if he didnt tell you. Majority of special ops guys don’t look like body builders. Plus Brody pulls off the bad-ass look rather well during one scene (The one where he shows off how “fast” he is). All-in-all…good movie.
awesome blog. Josh sounds like a pedantic dick. Ran into a buddy of mine from high school who ended up going to the Citadel and then to the tippity top of the Army Rangers and then Delta motherfucking Force. Dude’s the size of a tank and looks like he could punch through one.
Oh, also, that picture you’ve got there is of Jesse Ventura, who was a Navy SEAL. Family friend of mine was also a SEAL (he claims to have been in the same unit as Ventura, but I’m skeptical), and he looks like Ventura’s twin, except with hair up top.
To follow up on Jimmy’s comment, Bill Shephard, the forst commander of the International Space Station, and former Navy SEAL is the only person to have been able to do a push up while wearing the 275 lb. spacesuit. (and yes, he did it while on the earth Mr. Smartypants).
Granted he’s the only on to ever have tried, but the point is you can’t do that when you have the body of Mr. Brody.
Josh is right about one thing. Not all the special ops guy are big and strong. Only the best. 😉
And
Can you imagine Adrien Brody delivering Jessie’s line claiming he’s “a sexual tyrannasaurus”?
Excellent point, Robin.
Man, we’ve gone from Arnold Schwarzenegger… to this joke…
adrien brody… looks like an ad for some Italian cologne, but not sure about the predator killer thing. trying to imagine brody next to schwarzenegger… and it’s making me giggle. maybe that’s his weapon: he will make you laugh to death by looking at him. Maybe?
Typical f*cking yanks all talking shit. Real special forces I.E. the SAS/SBS, who by the way taught every cunt what tough is, DON’T look like f*cking gorillas and that’s the whole point you morons. Big and bulky STANDS OUT IN A CROWD which is exactly the opposite of what you want to be doing. That’s why yanks keep getting their asses handed to them, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T DO SUBTLE. To defeat your enemy you need to be your enemy I.E blend in!!
There is no f*cking way Jesse Venturda could double time through any god damn jungle carrying his bulk compared to a slim, well toned and fit guy who can use stamina to generate speed.
@ Jimmy – stop talking shit. SEALS are forbidden from exceeding a certain muscle mass index percentage because muscle doesn’t float and they have to be able to do a crash insertion from a sub
nuke tube and if they are too bulky they won’t fit in properly.
@ Josh – the only one talking sense
@ everyone else – muscle uses oxygen from your blood so the bigger the muscles the less oxygen getting to your brain – means? big muscles, slow brain.
25th RE motherf*ckers!!
moderators – you can edit the profanity but then you’d be editing the tone and I want the tone to reflect the anger at such people talking absolute rubbish. Maybe moderating the stupidity would be a better course of action.
as a former service member i can say he actually fits the physical profile of a SF memeber mostly those guys are kinda skinny cause they run them like 12 miles a day the bulkier guys you see in the army are usually artillery the real ground pounders a lean and mean i noticed to prodominate body types short and stock(no fat just a stump) or tall and lanky both could run like there is no tomorrow big bulky guys carry to much weight to do all of the long distance running these guys do all tho Jesse Ventura was SF he was alot thinner at the time he bulked up after his sevice term
Remember Hawkins (Shane Black), the radio guy who made jokes? He felt like the skinnier guy in the first movie who somehow fit into the team of commandos. Adrian Brody doesn’t even have THAT look.
An actor doesn’t need to look like Arnold to pull of the Special Forces appearance, and according to some of the previous posts, the leaner guys are more realistic anyways. Adrian Brody, however, cannot even pull of the “skinny” tough guy role.
Why was he in that movie again?
My father served in the SBS, and he was 5″7, and was around 12 stone (in his heyday!).
There were only three guys in my fathers unit who were well over 6″ foot, and we’re relied on for their size for certain things!
As much as he liked Arnold’s films, especially Predator, to him it was just a film…..he was always commenting on what they were doing wrong, or why weren’t they doing it this way etc!