Guns and Tacos vs. Luchador
Spicy RV // Guns and Tacos // Lucha de Cine from Media975 on Vimeo.
Special thanks to James Beck, Paul Sedillo and Lucha Libre Mexicana in El Paso, TX.
Guns and Tacos
Subscirbe to the Guns and Tacos RSS FeedRoad Trip to Albuquerque, In the Company of Odd Sorts
Along with James Beck Jr, Paul Sedillo and Jason Russo, I’m headed to Albuquerque, New Mexico to attend the 22nd annual National Fiery Foods & BBQ Show starting on March 5 in a massive tour bus, because wasting gasoline is like, Steve McQueen awesome.
I’ll be regularly updating their blog and the @SpicyRV Twitter account, so check out SpicyRV.com and add it to your RSS feed for the next week or two.
Paul will be capturing the trip on video and dropping it on the site so all the viewers can see what kind of shady business we’re getting into.
James Beck Jr. will be eating things most people can’t comprehend (myself included), and at a major international hot sauce festival like this, there’s no telling what folks are going to try to feed him. It’ll get interesting.
Since we’ll likely be heading through El Paso, hopefully we’ll come across a taco stand or two as well.
And if we’re that close to Mexico, it’s going to be mighty tough keeping my ass out of Juarez. Just sayin.
I Hang Out With Famous Rap Stars All the Time.
Listen closely, you’ll hear Chingo Bling give Taqueria Taconmadre a shout.
Last week I heard about an event at Club Status in Houston’s Midtown district where Chingo Bling would be hanging out. You probably know who he is, but in case you live with your mom and listen to Foreigner albums all day, Chingo is a prolific rap artist who has corroborated with Nelly, Chamillionaire and Paul Wall, and he happens to live in Houston, Texas. His most recent album is titled “Me Vale Madre“.
I wanted to be prepared for this moment, so two days before this endeavor, I bought a $15 pager from a little shop on Bellfort. Out in Channelview (on my way to Karanchos), I picked up two strips of Black Cats and a length of fuse. If you’re a mercenary like myself, you know how handy Black Cats can be in a tactical situation of importance such as this.
If you live in Houston, you know how Yellow Cab is. There may seem to be other independent cab services, but they’re all owned by Yellow Cab, and you can never depend on a ride. To counter this, I forged a relationship with a Yellow Cab driver I’ll call “Bob”, since that is his real name. He talks too much, but he’ll pick me up anytime I want, 24 x 7. In return, I have to play harmonica along with whatever album he decides to play. Which is cool unless he’s in a reggae kind of mood. It’s really hard to burn up a blues harp to reggae music, I’m just saying.
Chingo Bling and Roxxi Jane
Bob brought me to the joint around 8 or so, and I waited for Chingo Bling to show up. The bar was blue, and when I turned around and looked again, it was red. It took me a while to figure out that the bar changed colors. Freaky. There weren’t any barstools at the color-changing bar, just an array of VIP sections against the wall.
Hector the bartender explained that the silver buckets were for champagne, and no, I could not use it as an ice bucket for my Lone Star Beer.
Chingo Bling arrived with an entourage of several beautiful women, and four giant bodyguards that looked like they ate a bowl of bullets for breakfast and seasoned them with pepper spray. I was prepared for the bodyguards, because I was on a mission, which I’ll share with you.
If you don’t know about #TTC3, the Houston Chowhound’s third annual Taco Truck Crawl on April 10, you must be playing Mass Effect at your sister’s house and trying to figure out why nobody is interested in sharing the box of 50 Chicken McNuggets you fervently saved up for. Hell, you’re probably asking for that godawful barbecue sauce. You probably own more than two cats. Get a hold of yourself, cat man.
Long story short,my plan was to get Chingo Bling to hang out at TTC3, hell or high water.
Once Chingo seemed somewhat approachable, I dialed the number to the pager I had given Bob. He lit the fuse to the Black Cats and tossed them underneath one of the nice cars that the valet guys tend to park up close to the front of the joint.
My plan was for the bodyguards to go nuts and fly out of the place so I could get Chingo Bling alone long enough to make my case. The firecrackers started popping. Instead of freaking out, the seasoned and wary bodyguards, who surprisingly knew the difference between gunshots and Black Cats, casually stepped outside to check it out. All but one.
Steph Marie and Chingo Bling show me the correct way to throw dueces.
Anyway, this was my chance. I approached Chingo, and as the Incredible Mexican Hulk stood in my path, Chingo called him off in Spanish. I proceeded to introduce myself to Chingo. He took his sunglasses off, ordered me a Shiner, and gave the group of hot chicks a dismissive motion so we could have a private chat.
He came closer so I could hear him over the thumping dance music.
“What’s with the Black Cats, dumb ass?”, he politely inquired .
Another bodyguard appeared about five paces away on my right.
I considered explaining, but decided to get to the point.
“I’d like for you to attend the Third Annual Houston Chowhounds Taco Truck Crawl“, I announced with my most stolid game face.
He cracked a smile and introduced me to the ladies.
Roxxi Jane (@Suprlatina on Twitter) is a dance/pop singer who has recently been working her way to the pop charts. You can listen to her mixtape, or wait for her widely anticipated album, Everybody Loves Pink. Our conversation quickly went to taco trucks, and she told me about some of her favorites.
I was also happy to meet Steph Marie Tunchez (@OStephy), a mariachi singer and violinist who I’ve been following on Twitter for some time. She also knows her tacos, and she suggested a few places that weren’t on my map.
Laura Gonzalez (@ThatGirlLala), TV hostess of Lala’s World on Houston’s 55 was also in attendance.
My rockstar lobbying was successful. I’m very happy to report that so far it looks like everyone will be coming to Taco Truck Crawl 3.
After doing a few shots of tequila with the bodyguards, I stumbled outside to find Bob the cab driver, but he was gone. I haven’t seen him since.
Hope that guy’s alright.
What is a plethora?
Tuco’s Favorite IPhone Apps
I’m assuming you’ve seen The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. If you haven’t, you don’t know Tuco.
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez is a greedy bandit, a real piece of work.
He’s been found guilty of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks, and post offices; the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and using marked cards and loaded dice.
He’s also a precision sharpshooter. In fact, he killed more guys in the movie than Clint Eastwood did. His gunsmithing skills are unparalleled as well. In one scene, he went into a gun shop and instead of just stealing a pistol, he disassembled three different pistols and built his own in about a minute.
Most people who watch the movie see Clint Eastwood’s character, “Blondie” as the hero. Me, I’m a Tuco fan.
I sometimes wonder how a man like Tuco, who refers to himself in third person, would get by in today’s world. He’s not a simple drug dealer or thug- he is a tactician. But how would he operate in a world of freeway cameras, electronically scanned drivers licenses and Nancy Grace?
For someone as resourceful as Tuco, you’ve got to wonder- if he had an IPhone, which applications would he use?
The Shorty Awards
Thanks to Twitter and the amazing Houston foodie scene, I’ve been nominated for the Shorty Awards.
If you’re not familiar with The Shorty Awards, you’re not alone. I just found out about it a week or two ago. Basically, it’s a big award ceremony in NYC for the best Twitter users in certain categories.
“Hollywood has the Oscars. Broadway has the Tonys. Now Twitter has the…Shorty Awards” - New York Times
The image below shows the top 6 in the running for the Food category. (Yes, I know David Archuleta is on the list. Don’t ask.)
John Adomono (Guitarist Fantastique)
When I was a rotten kid in the cassette era, I found this amazing album in my dad’s old record collection. I’d never heard of the guy, but wow, he was playing a really cool looking guitar. And that’s important.
Why Won’t Chamillionaire Follow me on Twitter? Phase 2: The Invasion
Earlier this month, I posted about a quest I’ve championed over the last few months- an effort to get Chamillionaire, the successful Houston rap artist, to follow me on Twitter.
Many people have given me some great suggestions on how to pull it off, some of which I am comfortable employing, and some of which are outright insane. Since Chamillionaire is very tech-savvy, he has a web forum dedicated to his fan base, also known as “The Chamillitary”.
I thought I would dig into this web forum and see if I would have any luck garnering enough support to get Chamillionaire himself to notice. Read the rest…
“Mexican Joe” by Jim Reeves
Why Won’t Chamillionaire Follow me on Twitter?
Facebook, MySpace, forget it. I started a Facebook account a week ago and I already hate it.
Twitter’s my thing. My name is @GunsandTacos, and with Twitter, I’m not forced to ‘reconnect’ with people I avoided back in school, or to help anyone move into a 2nd story apartment. I can be a big mystery if I want, and that’s the way I like it.
Twitter’s easy. All you have to do is talk a lot, and refrain from mentioning anything about loved ones, kids, politics, religion, boners, or pets. (especially pets).
When I discovered Twitter, the first thing I did was remove all of the Twitter-default celebrity followers, mostly because I didn’t know who they were. A lifetime Houston resident, I thought I’d lean toward Houston celebrities.
Politicians are boring, so I scratched them off of the list.
Artists are too cool to use Twitter.
Gun nuts like myself don’t use Twitter, because we are generally too busy stockpiling ammo for the upcoming zombie apocalypse to deal with these frivolities.
Sports? I’m not really into sports that don’t involve guys who are shooting, stabbing, or at least punching one another.
Musicians? Same category as artists. If they do tweet, I’m going to assume they’ve got some hot groupie tweeting for them. Yawn.
After ruling out each of these, I found a Houston celebrity that fits none of these categories: Chamillionaire.
@Chamillionaire has more followers than @JesusChrist Himself. No really, look it up.
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